My ‘Super Mum’ super fails

Since social media worked out that I’m a mother (it’s clever/creepy like that) it’s constantly bombarding me with ‘Super Parent’ type photos and articles that I just know I’m never going to live up to. At no point will I ever get around to hand-crafting a submarine bed for Miss O’s room, building a rollercoaster in the garden or sending her to school with a ‘Bento box’ lunch complete with butterfly-shaped sandwiches and an exact replica of the Eiffel Tower constructed entirely from carrot sticks…

thumbnail_20170630_161930
“Seriously Teddy, she should just quit whilst she’s behind…”

That doesn’t stop me dipping my toe in the crafting/baking/magic-making waters, but it just never seems to go to plan! For example: Read more

“Again Mummy!” – The children’s books I will NEVER forget

One of the things that I was really looking forward to about having a child was sharing my love of reading with them. What I failed to realise was that, before we get to the bit where we can snuggle up at bedtime with ‘The Secret Garden’ and ‘Charlotte’s Web’, there’s THIS bit, where we have to read about dogs losing balls and  sheep that are crap at hiding. Over and over again. Every bloomin’ day.

Miss O’s current top picks include:

Fox’s Socks

Charming – the first 20 times you read it. Now, I’m really starting to lose patience with this guy:

thumbnail_20170615_070702

Read more

And the Oscar goes to…

I always fancied myself as a bit of an actress at school, despite the fact that my most significant roles were ‘leper number 4’ in Jesus Christ Superstar and the main man himself in Pudsey Bear: The Musical! (yes, that was an actual show, and no, thankfully there is no photographic evidence).

I probably won’t be treading the boards again anytime soon, but it turns out that being a mother affords me PLENTY of opportunities to work on my acting skills!

IMG-20170515-WA0000
“How creative darling – no, mummy’s not crying…”

Some of my greatest acting challenges so far:
Read more

Strangers say the strangest things…

After you’ve had a baby, it’s virtually impossible to get from A to B without being intercepted by at least a dozen well-meaning strangers keen to have a gander at the fruit of your loins and impart some grade A parenting wisdom.

I wanted to share some of my ‘favourite’ Miss O related comments with you!

20160821_191141
“What are you doing mama?”  – “Cherishing the moment darling…”

Read more

The Mum Reflex

There are so many things in life that we do almost without thinking and have absolutely no control over – like saying “mind your head!” just AFTER someone’s knocked themself out, or automatically apologising when some eejit bumps into you in the street…

Since I’ve had Miss O I’ve found that, even when we’re not actually together, like when I’m at work or she’s managed to escape to Grandma’s,  I seem to be on some kind of permanent parent autopilot:

  • I find it physically impossible not to say “WEEEEEEEEE!!!”  when a child goes down a slide. If the child in question isn’t yours (and you’re not even WITH your child at the time!!) you run the very real risk of being labelled the park odd-bod…

 

f15a81f2-ad1d-4cbb-8fc4-d9534de97863
“Come away from the scary lady darling…”

Read more