We’re goin’ on a bear hunt
(She’ll never sleep without it)
Why didn’t we buy a spare one??
(YOU said we didn’t need one!)
But we’re not scared!
(We’re really shit-scared)
Where the fuck could he be?
(Where THE FUCK could he be?!?)

MAYBE we left him in Aldi…

Uh-uh! The Middle Aisle!
The chock-a-bloc, odd-o’clock Middle Aisle
We can’t go over it.
We can’t go under it.
Oh no!
We’ve got to go through it!
Oooh look –  a lawnmower!
(We haven’t got time for this…)
I’ve always wanted a popcorn maker!
(Put that down or you’ll meet your maker…)
A pet crate!
(FFS!)
BALLS – no sign of the bloody bear.

MAYBE we left him at soft play…
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