In appreciation of the unextraordinary

So, I was driving Miss O home after a rather uneventful day involving a pootle around the shops and a trip to the library. It was pouring with rain, but we were in high spirits given that we’d seen not one, but TWO yellow cars, and an excellent variety of doggies, including a Dalmatian (which, if you’re as big a fan of Marshall from Paw Patrol as she is, is akin to clocking Taylor Swift sashaying down your local high street…)

After a minute or so of silence, I caught a glimpse of her in my mirror. She was absolutely beaming in my direction.

“Mummy?”

“Yes baby?”

“I am SO happy!”

… I’m not going to lie, I welled up a bit.

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Organising a children’s birthday party – how hard can it be? (Answer – very)

Miss O’s 3rd birthday is fast approaching and she’s desperate for her very own ‘Happy-Birthday-To-You with PRESENTS!!’ (or ‘birthday party’, as it’s known to the rest of us ).

There’s barely enough room to swing a cat in our living room, and in any case I’m reasonably fond of my furniture pre-party-apocalypse, so the time has come to book my very first proper kid’s party!

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We survived CBeebies Land!

It’s hot as hell at the moment, so it seemed as appropriate a time as any to visit that parental realm of eternal pain and suffering also known as CBeebies Land.

(Only kidding, I’m not sure how I’d have survived the last three years without those snatched minutes of peace courtesy of Mr Tumble and company!)

I’m going to preface the following with the undeniable fact that she absolutely loved it, and asked if we could come again tomorrow (hell to the no my lovely ).

Anyhoo, here are our key takeaways if you too are a glutton for punishment looking to drop a small fortune on branded tat, warm sandwiches and, of course, creating magical family memories etc. etc…

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Diary of a class bear: Bertie’s big weekend

I rocked up to the nursery pick-up last week and heard the words I’d been dreading for months now…

Yup – we’d been landed with the sodding class bear for the weekend.

If you’d like to find out how Bertie enjoyed his stay, he’s created a lovely photo diary to share with you all!

(FYI – it goes without saying that this isn’t the EXACT draft I sent over to nursery )

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How do you know if you’re ready to have another?

Question – is anyone else having that ‘should we have another?’ internal debate and thinking ‘shouldn’t I just KNOW???’

(FYI – I’m referring to children rather than say, biscuits, where of course the answer would be ‘absolutely – finish the packet before anyone else notices’)

But seriously, is there some kind of ‘time for number two!’ alarm that just kicks in one day? Everyone else seems so sure; ‘Oh, we always knew we wanted more’ or ‘nope, we’re one and done!’… is it weird to be so indecisive?

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Pre-baby me vs. post-baby me

Everyone tells you how much your life will change once you’ve had a baby, but until you’re actually living it, it’s impossible to appreciate just how far the goal posts have been moved. Or just how much of your brain will be taken up with Peppa Pig trivia…

After another delightful wake up at ‘f*ck me it’s early!’ o’clock this morning (I can’t believe I used to think 6am was an early start; I’d sell my soul for that kind of lie-in these days), I thought I’d jot down a few pre-baby/post-baby me comparisons…

  • My main source of foot pain pre-parenthood was stupidly high heels. Now, it’s the Lego assault course masquerading as my living room floor.
  • The only chart I paid any attention to was the Top 100. These days my Google history is strewn with growth charts, milestone charts, food charts… I’ve only JUST unfavourited 50 Shades of Shite, also known as that perennial treat for the eyes, ‘Baby Poo – A Visual Guide’

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The Bear Hunt

 

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We’re goin’ on a bear hunt
(She’ll never sleep without it)
Why didn’t we buy a spare one??
(YOU said we didn’t need one!)
But we’re not scared!
(We’re really shit-scared)
Where the fuck could he be?
(Where THE FUCK could he be?!?)

MAYBE we left him in Aldi…

Uh-uh! The Middle Aisle!
The chock-a-bloc, odd-o’clock Middle Aisle
We can’t go over it.
We can’t go under it.
Oh no!
We’ve got to go through it!
Oooh look –  a lawnmower!
(We haven’t got time for this…)
I’ve always wanted a popcorn maker!
(Put that down or you’ll meet your maker…)
A pet crate!
(FFS!)
BALLS – no sign of the bloody bear.

MAYBE we left him at soft play…
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