My husband has just purchased tickets for ‘Peppa Pig’s Adventure!’ at our local theatre, and it’s hard to tell who’s more excited (well, once you’ve ruled me out, as I’m struggling to think of anything worse than spending an hour and 20 minutes in her company).

The Peppa Pig phase has hit us hard, with no end in sight. In fact, we’ve seen so many episodes, so many times, that I find myself thinking about it far too much!

• We have ‘Peppa Pig’, ‘Susie Sheep’, ‘Rebecca Rabbit’ etc… did Mummy Pig just think “sod this alliterative fuckwittery” when she braved ridicule and plumped for ‘George’??
• I bet Doctor Brown Bear would actually shit himself if there was a real emergency; as far as I can tell, his entire career to-date is built on having a gander down people’s throats and dosing them up with Calpol at every given opportunity.
• I really want to meet the marketing genius who managed to convince an entire town to invest in one-armed glasses…
• I’m also keen to be introduced to whoever came up with ‘Birdie Birdie Woof Woof’ – although I really can’t be held responsible for my actions thereafter…
  #WoofBaaMooTweetFuckRightOff
• Did it strike anyone else as a bit odd when Peppa’s class visited the Zoo? Isn’t that a bit like us taking our kids to look around a nudist colony??
• Whose bright idea was it to settle down in the land of Hilly-McFuckThat’sSteep…presumably nobody actually walks anywhere because you’d have to scale several mountains just to get to the corner shop!
  
• I bet Career Day is productive at their school…“What would you like to be when you’re older kids?”“Umm…Bus Driver?” – “Sorry, that’s Miss Rabbit’s job”
  “Dental Nurse?” – “Guess again”
  “Librarian?” – “Taken”
  “Ice cream seller?” – “Nope”
  “Museum worker?” – “Soz”
  “Hot air balloonist?” – “Unavailable”
  “Are you fricking kidding me??”
  
  Unemployment is going to go through the roof when those kids hit 18…
• No wonder Mummy and Daddy Pig go to the theatre so rarely – it must take them bloody ages to travel back to the 1920’s…
  All is forgiven though when we reach that episode of pure perfection, the one that completely captures my fear of tunnel slides, rope ladders and children casually chundering in the ball pool…Soft Play #weveallbeenhere

Are you a Peppa Pig lover or hater?