After you’ve had a baby, it’s virtually impossible to get from A to B without being intercepted by at least a dozen well-meaning strangers keen to have a gander at the fruit of your loins and impart some grade A parenting wisdom.

I wanted to share some of my ‘favourite’ Miss O related comments with you!

“What are you doing mama?”  – “Cherishing the moment darling…”

“You MUST cherish every moment!”

I’m fully aware of how lucky we are to have her, and that there will come a time when me walking through the door will no longer be the highlight of her day, when I can’t solve every heartache with a cuddle and a Kinder egg. But I’m sorry, I just can’t treasure EVERY moment. Like when she shat in the bath. Or when she had an epic tantrum because I wouldn’t let her climb into the oven. Or when I’m watching Bing at 2am. I think it’s OK not to treasure those moments…

“Is your husband babysitting tonight?”

No, no he isn’t. Last time I checked he’s not an 18 year old girl, I don’t pay him to watch her, and he doesn’t spend the majority of the evening texting his mates and raiding the snack drawer (OK, the last part’s pretty accurate). He’s *shock horror* looking after HIS OWN CHILD whilst mummy drinks Prosecco with her friends and tries REALLY hard to think of something interesting to talk about other than Miss O (which is tricky, because all we seem to watch these days is CBeebies and I can’t remember the last book I read that didn’t involve lifting flaps and locating farmyard animals…)

“Oh, she’s a girl?!?”

This is always said in a slightly accusatory manner, implying that I’ve somehow failed in my motherly duty to label my offspring appropriately for the benefit of passers-by. I hate to disappoint, so now before we leave the house I’m planning on dunking her in glitter, braiding a small herd of My Little Pony’s into her hair and rigging the pram to play ‘Girls Just Wanna Have Fun’ when anyone walks past…that should just about cover it!

“I can go and check what we have in the girl’s section?”

Leading on from the above, this was the time when a shop assistant was rather puzzled by my choice of a dinosaur sleeping bag for Miss O….

1  – the ‘girl’ ones had butterflies on them – I bloody hate butterflies. I had a panic attack at a butterfly farm once; why on earth people find being mobbed by a pack of winged beasties an enjoyable family day out I’ll never know.

2 – The dinosaur one was 50% off – this is a pretty big deal. I can only assume that grobags are woven by fairies, hand-washed by mermaids and then gently blown dry by unicorns before they reach the shelves, given the extortionate price charged for what is essentially a sack with straps.

3 – And what?!? She looks awesome in blue, she loves Dinopaws, and surely there were girl dinosaurs too? Although that would explain why they died out so quickly…

“Is she your only one?”

Now this is actually a perfectly reasonable question, but just once, I’d like to react by looking around wildly, shouting “Oh bugger it, I’ve left Tipsy-Lou in Argos again” and tearing off in the opposite direction…

“Having a chilled one today?”

No, Mr Chugger standing oh so hopefully on my doorstep, I am bloody well not. The reason I am wearing my dressing gown at 3.30pm is that my daughter has been vomiting for two days straight, and the only other item of clothing I own that isn’t currently coated in toddler sick is a ‘Sexy Pirate’ Halloween costume, which is a tad risqué for a Wednesday afternoon. And I don’t know about you, but I very rarely ‘chill’ by watching back-to-back episodes of Postman Pat at an ear-splitting volume whilst frantically wet-wiping Happyland Farm animals, who haven’t got an awful lot to be happy about since getting caught in that torrential spew shower after lunch…

Suffice to say, he swiftly took his clipboard elsewhere.

I’d love to hear your baby chat gems!

Life Love and Dirty Dishes

14 thoughts on “Strangers say the strangest things…

  1. The Tubblet was bald when she was a small and I was regularly asked if she was a girl. Even when she was wearing head to toe pink. It is a testament to my patience and general good person-ness that the words that flowed through my head at this point never actually made it out of my mouth. Grrrrr!

    Liked by 1 person

  2. I had the same experience with my first child. She had such fine blonde hair that didn’t grow long until around 2. I got the boy/girl questions all the time! I got so sick of it that I started telling people that she was a gay boy. That was 14 years ago-before all of the PC/Gender stuff was a big deal AND I live in Mississippi. They shut up after that!!!
    People and their nosey questions get me all the time! It’s like you’re reading my mind!


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  3. Hahaha your dream response to “is she the only one?’ is perfect! Also it drives me insane that some shop assistants think you shouldn’t dress your girls in blue or with anything with dinosaurs on because that is from the boy’s section. “My daughter loves dinosaurs, let her wear the dino!!!” Yep, I might have roared that once #FridayFrolics

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  4. Love your response to “Having a chilled one today?” – you could shake hands and then comment that you’ve just cleaned up baby/toddler sick with them – ha ha. Joined up thinking from strangers would be nice hey! Kate

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  5. #cansorelate love this, soooo true especially about the babysitting bit! I have always said my husband does not babysit his own kids, they are his kids!!!! It just astounds me sometimes how people can be so blunt and you dont even know them!

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  6. These are very funny! I have twins and have had more than my fair share of ridiculous comments from people I don’t even know (including ‘were they natural’!!!). People can say such silly things. #TriumphantTales

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  7. oh it never stops. I have 5, all adults now and i still get asked stupid questions ‘wow didn’t you have a TV in your house?’ ‘would you have liked to have had a girl?’ ‘how did you cope?’ etc etc I feel your pain #triumphanttales

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  8. Haha, this is brilliant! I never really understood those who felt it necessary to impart their wisdom onto others they don’t know. It’s also very annoying when they ask “will you have anymore children” when you’re quite clearly pregnant. (I get that a lot!) #triumphanttales

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